When to Reveal a Pregnancy?

If you’re pregnant, you might be over the moon. You might want to shout it from the rooftops and write it in the stars. Those are natural feelings. Or perhaps you are scared, unsure how to feel, or worried. Those are perfectly natural, too. How you feel about your pregnancy will affect when you feel ready to tell other people. Why do some people want to tell everyone they know right away, while others like to wait?

When is it Safe to Announce Pregnancy?

It’s standard practice for most women to hold off announcing their pregnancy until they are 12 weeks pregnant. That’s because the risk of miscarraige drops significantly at 12 weeks of pregnancy. 10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and 80% of those occur in the first trimester. After 12 weeks, the risk of miscarriage falls to 5%, though it can be higher if you’ve had a previous loss. Many women don’t want to announce their pregnancies before this because of the pain of miscarriage and the fear of having to share that pain with all the people who knew about the pregnancy. 

When to Announce Pregnancy to Family

As soon as you discover your pregnancy, when to tell others comes up. A general rule of thumb is to wait to share the news of your pregnancy with anyone who you would feel uncomfortable discussing a miscarriage with. For most women, this means telling family and close friends early and waiting to announce to work, casual friends and acquaintances. According to blogger Cadenshae’s poll, most pregnant women announce their pregnancies to family between 4 and 8 weeks, and to others between 12 and 15 weeks. Further, her polls revealed that most women tell their family members face to face and one by one. 

Who to Tell First? 

Your husband or partner should be the first person to know about your pregnancy. He’s the one who’s going to be raising this baby with you! There are lots of cute ways to tell him if you’re the type of person who likes to get creative. Savor the moment with him, then decide together who to tell next. Some couples like to wait to tell their parents, while others will reach for the phone right away.

How to Tell Your Family You’re Pregnant

Most members of your family will appreciate something personal, and will want to find out before the masses see an announcement on Instagram. This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun or create a cute announcement for them. Cadenshae revealed that about 57% of women choose to get creative with their announcements, while the rest share their news in a more traditional manner. However you decide to tell them, they’re sure to be excited!

Reasons to Tell Early 

Though a lot of people wait to reveal their pregnancy until after 12 weeks, that doesn’t make it the only choice, or the choice that’s best for you. If you fear miscarrying, that could be a reason to tell supportive people before the 12 weeks mark. If you do miscarry, you’ll have help coping with the loss, and people who shared in your joy can better share in your grief. 

Consider telling those close to you about your pregnancy if you’ve been using IVF or other fertility treatments to get pregnant. If they’ve been sharing in your struggles, they’ll want to share in your joy when you get pregnant.   

You may also need to tell at least some people before 12 weeks if you get very sick when pregnant. If you are suddenly very tired and nauseated all the time, people close to you will start to get suspicious anyway, so you might as well tell them, then ask for their help. While most women will experience some form of morning sickness while pregnant, 3% can experience hyperemesis gravidarum, or severe nausea and vomiting. Hyperemesis gravidarum includes symptoms such as throwing up more than 3 times per day, becoming dehydrated, and losing more than 5 pounds. If this is you, you probably need help, especially if you have other children. Remember, it takes a village, so gather your villagers close and let them help you.

Another reason you may need to reveal your pregnancy early is that your job is hazardous. If you have a physically demanding job you most likely need to tell your supervisor about your pregnancy right away. Law prohibits discrimination against pregnant employees, and requires employers to make accommodations for temporarily disabled employees. This can include paid or unpaid leave, or modifications to duties so you can still perform your job. If your job involves heavy lifting or exposure to chemicals, it’s important that you discuss your pregnancy with your employer to arrange for alternative duties.  

When to Announce Pregnancy at Work

If your job is not hazardous or strenuous, you are under no obligation to tell your employer about your pregnancy. You will need to tell them eventually, of course, but you can choose when. It could be beneficial to tell early because you need time off to accommodate sickness or extra doctor visits. Or you may want to wait until after 12 weeks to lessen your chance of having uncomfortable conversations about miscarriage with your boss. It’s really up to you. Just remember, it’s illegal for your employer to discriminate against you for getting pregnant. That includes harassment, demotions, or being fired. 

When to Announce Pregnancy on Facebook and Instagram

An easy way to tell distant relatives, friends and acquaintances about your pregnancy is through social media, most likely Facebook and/or Instagram. There are tons of creative announcements on Instagram, including photo shoots, sonograms and custom onesies. You can be as elaborate or as simple with these types of announcements as you want, and there is no pressure to reveal anything earlier than you feel ready.  

Reasons to Tell Late

While revealing pregnancy around 12 weeks is somewhat common, there is no rule stopping you from waiting even longer. Although many people take comfort in the results of the dating ultrasound at 12 weeks, some prefer to wait to announce their pregnancy to the general public until the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. If you choose this option, you have the bonus of being able to announce baby’s gender at the same time.

It could be that you aren’t ready to share your news because you yourself are still getting used to the idea of being a parent. That’s totally acceptable. Not everyone is overjoyed about being pregnant right away. You may also want to wait to deal with other people until you feel better, and no longer nauseated. Sometimes other people bring drama, and when you’re feeling sick, you don’t need that in your life. 

Past miscarriages or infant loss can also make you shy to share the news. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that it’s ok to keep to yourself. Others might get upset to find out you’ve had a baby and they didn’t know about the pregnancy. But if they love you, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, you probably don’t need them in your life anyway.

The Choice is Yours

Ultimately, the choice of when to tell people you’re pregnant is yours alone. While you should definitely tell your partner right away, when to tell everyone else is debatable. Becoming grandparents is probably a big deal to your parents (and his), so you may want to tell them early, especially if this is your first. Telling a handful of supportive people early can provide you with love and help, and will minimize the number of painful conversations you need to have should you miscarry. Remember, though, that even trusted loved ones may spill the beans to others without your permission! As for work, you should tell immediately if your job could endanger your pregnancy, but you’re free to wait otherwise. Whatever you choose to do is the right thing to do. It’s your baby, so share the news whenever you feel ready.